Baby Day

I watched the baby for the first time today...She wanted to be held the whole time. Dylan went potty and did not tell me there was poop in his pull up..it got everywhere. I am trying to put the baby down who is screaming and finding wipes to clean Dylan up, he pulls up his pants dirty with no pull up on..the baby is still crying..Porter is just standing there like what is going on...yeah..it was interesting.. This is the first baby I have watched at that age (less than 2 months old)..my son didn't even come home until 6 months...it was...an experience.. Hopefully I have a little longer before I watch her full time. On another note, she is just precious... :) I am sitting here on the computer bored out of my mind. I think its time I find a hobby like reading or doing something constructive at night. I mean I could be cleaning and doing laundry but that gets old. It's funny because I used to watch TV everynight...now I do not even think about turning the TV on...odd... Tomorrow I get a free morning, I need to go to the gym finally and get my nails filled in..taking car of yourself is too darn expensive..hair, nails, gym...geez it was easy to not give a crap...but I am ready to move on and meet some new people so I need to look my best!!! I am going to put an ad up for a sitter swap so I can go out once in awhile and not have to pay a sitter..then I can just watch someone else's kids for them when they want to go out...should be a good idea if I can find the right person. I need to find a balance in my life for Dylan and for myself. I never really wanted this.. I want to be home everynight with my son, doing everything a mother does, but situations change and I am learning not to feel guilty or selfish for wanting to get out and find out who I am again. Thank God for Angie..she is truly my best friend. I am so glad we made up. I am sure most people don't know the story but we had a falling out about 7 years ago. We didn't talk for about 5 years... It sucked. But now things are great and we have so much fun together. We are going to hang out tomorrow, who knows what we will do but I am looking forward to it! So my new eating healthy plan is going pretty well. I have done good all week so far except for the exercise part...that should come into effect tomorrow, I hope. I constantly feel hungry though, its going to take some time to get used to. I think I cut out too many calories though.. I do not keep exact track but I have a feeling it may be too little for my body. I kind of go hard core low fat / low calorie when I do this..it may not be the best idea but its what I know works for me. I hope to lose 10 pounds by February 1st and another 15 more before April. That gives me 3 months to lose 25 pounds... I think I can do that...I always thought I would be happy at around 150 but now I find myself thinking about being like a size 4 or something and weighing like 120...hah that is a long ways off but something to day dream about. Honestly, I just want to be healthy and feel good about myself, its not really about the pounds! I think my mom may be coming downt his weekend.. I am super excited..if not I will probably go home for the weekend, I don't know...maybe I will just stay and enjoy Sunday to myself..maybe I can find something fun to do! :) Well enough rambling for tonight! I think I am going to hit the library tomorrow and find a good book to read!

Goodnight!